If you love it, they say, set it free.
You can bolt the door behind it
And check the peephole periodically
And watch it face the rain alone.
One morning when there's no scratch at the door
You might just poke your head out to see
That your puppy isn't there anymore
dripping and whimpering obediently
You may find yourself an accessory
To a vicissitude of the worst degree
It ceased to be a dog and turned into me
If they ever ask you where I went
Conjure up a steam tunnel incident
A fable of my failure to repent
An admonition to the impudent
That way I’ll always be the instrument
Of your impassioned self-aggrandisement
You always could spin a headline
I won't begrudge you that.